Back to School Nerves?

Starting school is exciting for some kids. For others, it brings a knot in their stomach, a few extra tears at drop-off, and a long list of worries about what could go wrong. Both reactions are completely normal, so don't worry.

According to the Child Mind Institute, back-to-school anxiety is especially common for kids starting at a new school. It can also be tough for children who already struggle with being separated from their parents. The good news is that, for many kids, those worries begin to fade once they settle into a routine and realize school is a place where they can feel safe and successful. 

Parents can help make the transition a little easier. One of the first steps is checking in with yourself. Kids are surprisingly good at picking up on stress. If you're worried about the new teacher, the schedule, or how your child will handle the day, they may pick up some of that nervous energy. Finding ways to manage your own stress can help set a calmer tone.

It also helps to listen before trying to fix the problem. A child who says they are scared about school may not need a long explanation or pep talk. A simple response like, “I know it can feel strange to get used to a new teacher,” can go a long way. From there, you can help them come up with a plan for the things that worry them most.

For especially nervous kids, a little preparation can make a big difference. Visiting the school before the first day, walking through the halls, and finding the classroom can make the building feel less intimidating. Meeting the teacher ahead of time can also help put a familiar face in the mix, according to the Child Mind Institute.

On the first morning, having a plan for saying goodbye can help. A teacher, staff member, or trusted friend who is ready to greet your child and get them involved in an activity can make that moment of separation easier. When your child handles a difficult moment, even a small one, point it out and let them know you noticed.

For most children, school anxiety improves with time, patience, and support. But if the worry continues, starts affecting daily life, or keeps a child from attending school, it may be time to reach out for extra help. Frequent stomachaches, headaches, or strong resistance to going to school can be signs that a child needs more support. A mental health professional can help families understand what is happening and find strategies that work.

“If your child's anxiety doesn't go away and interferes with school, it may be time to get support from a mental health professional,” the Child Mind Institute notes.

The goal isn't to make every nervous feeling disappear. A little anxiety is part of trying something new. The goal is to help kids learn that they can handle those feelings and still walk through the school doors.